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Non-Physical Passive Forms of Abuse and Control - CODA p.105

 

Unacceptable Behaviors


When you have high self-esteem, you don't allow anyone to treat you in the following ways. When you have high self-esteem, you don't have the need to treat anyone in the following ways:


         Criticism: Shaming, put-downs, mocking, blaming, name-calling, imitating or taunting others; insinuations, and using meaningless words or gestures.


         Verbal abuse: Shouting, being vulgar, continuously raging, using profanity, angry expressions or gestures to control.


         Misrepresenting: Falsifying, exaggerating, distorting, lying, withholding and/or misstating information and being unfaithful.


         Dominating: Domineering, controlling, claiming to know the truth, commanding, or analyzing others’ behavior through logic or shame.


         Suppressing others emotionally: Refusing to offer support, attention, respect or validation of others’ feelings; not offering affirmations or compliments.


         Denying self-care: Needlessness, or not asking for help and support; addictions to alcohol, drugs, food, sex or other substances; people-pleasing, caretaking or isolation.


         Financial constraints: Controlling the spending of others; non-support of a partner’s desire to work; withholding money; using money or resources as punishment; making financial promises with no intention of keeping them.


         Power tactics: Hurrying others to make decisions; shaming, accusing, pouting, threatening, or manipulating others; abusive feelings; gathering forces to control others; using money, sex, children or religion to control.

 

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