Addiction, very simply stated, is a compulsive behavioral pattern repeated over and over again regardless of consequences. It could be said that when one “cannot not”, one finds oneself in the grip of an addiction and/or dependency. “Cannot not” means that there is an increasing difficulty in “not acting out” the behavior in question. In other words, while the person may still have enough moral fiber left to know that they shouldn’t “do it”, they have a difficult time “not doing it”, or, if they still have enough will power to actually “not do it” they experience an emotional and psychological stress at the thought or reality of not being able to, or not being allowed to, “do it”.

This is a valid appreciation of the dynamics of addiction, however, to truly understand we need to address the fuel. Why does a person need to “do it” over and over again regardless of consequences? What fuels addictions, the exaggerated unmanageable need to “do it”? The answer is a combination of psychological, emotional and spiritual stressors. Addictions start as stress reducers which then escalate to a self-defeating surrender to the stress-reducers. All addictions are born out of a need to calm down a discomfort within oneself. While genetics and the nurturing surroundings both have a role to play and must be properly dealt with, it is the internal discomfort with oneself, within oneself, which creates the need to self-medicate, that must be addressed. When these underlying stressors/problems are discovered and healed, the need for the addiction disappears.