The Addiction Cycle by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

For sexual addicts an addictive experience progresses through a four-step cycle which intensifies with each repetition:

1.         Preoccupation-the trance or mood wherein the addicts’ minds are completely engrossed with thoughts of sex. This mental state creates an obsessive search for sexual stimulation.

2.         Ritualization-the addicts’ own special routines which lead up to the sexual behavior. The ritual intensifies the preoccupation, adding arousal and excitement.

3.         Compulsive sexual behavior-the actual sexual act, which is the end goal of the preoccupation and ritualization. Sexual addicts are unable to control or stop this behavior.

4.         Despair-the feeling of utter hopelessness addicts have about their behavior and their powerlessness.

The pain the addicts feel at the end of the cycle can be numbed or obscured by sexual preoccupation which reengages the addiction cycle.

Sexual addicts are hostages of their own preoccupation. Every passerby, every relationship, and every introduction to someone passes though the sexually obsessive filter. More than merely noticing sexually attractive people, there is a quality of desperation which interferes with work, relaxation, and even sleep. People become objects to be scrutinized. A walk though a crowded downtown area is translated into a veritable shopping list of “possibilities.”