Self-Injury, Self-Mutilation, Self-Harm
The number of people who participate in acts of self-mutilation is growing. Although self-harm is rarely a suicidal act, it must be taken seriously because accidental deaths do occur. It’s difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel but breaking the cycle of self-abuse is possible if you reach out to someone you trust. Finding new ways of coping with your feelings can help to tone down the intense urges you feel which results in you hurting yourself. Recovery is a continuous process and learning how to stop this addictive behavior is within your reach if you work at it.
Types of self-injury
Definition of self-injury
Self-injury, self-inflicted violence,
self-injurious behavior or self-mutilation is defined as a deliberate,
intentional injury to one’s own body that causes tissue damage or leaves marks
for more than a few minutes which is done to cope with an overwhelming or
distressing situation.
The most common self-injurious
behaviors are:
Reasons for self-injury
Why do they do it?
Even though it is possible that a
self-inflicted injury may result in death, self-injury is usually not
suicidal behavior.
The person who self-injures may not
recognize the connection, but this act usually occurs after an overwhelming or
distressing experience and is
a result of not
having
learned how to identify
or express difficult feelings in a healthy way.
Sometimes the person who deliberately
harms themselves thinks that if they feel the pain on the outside instead of
feeling it on the inside, the injuries will be seen, which then perhaps gives
them a fighting chance to heal. They may also believe that the wounds, which
are now physical evidence, proves their emotional pain is real. Although the
physical pain they experience may be the catalyst that releases the emotional
pain, the relief they feel is temporary. These coping mechanisms in essence are
faulty because the pain eventually returns without any permanent healing taking
place.
Self-harm serves a function for the
person who does it. If you can figure out what function the self-injury is
serving then you can learn other ways to get those needs met which will reduce
your desire to hurt yourself.
It is difficult to understand the
motivations behind self-injurious behavior, but a clearer picture develops when
you hear the common explanations self-injurers give for doing it:
Self-injury can regulate strong emotions. It
can put a person who is at a high level of physiological arousal back to a
baseline state.
Deliberate self-harm can distract from emotional pain and
stop feelings of numbness.
Self-inflicted violence is a way to express things that cannot be put into
words
such as displaying anger, shocking others or seeking support and help.
Self-injurious behavior can exert a sense of control over
your body if you feel powerless in other areas of your life.
Sometimes magical thinking is involved and you may imagine that hurting
yourself will prevent something worse from happening.
Also, when you hurt yourself it
influences the behavior of others and can manipulate people into feeling
guilty, make them care, or make them go away.
Self punishment or self-hate may be
involved.
Some people who self-injure have a
childhood history
of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. They may erroneously blame
themselves for having been abused, they may feel that they deserved it and are
now punishing themselves because of self-hatred and low self-esteem.
Self-abuse can also be a self-soothing behavior for
someone who does not have other means to calm intense emotions. Self-injury
followed by tending to one’s own wounds is a way to express self-care and be
self-nurturing for someone who never learned how to do that in a more direct
way.
People who self-injure have some
common traits:
Self-injury as an addiction
|
BECOMING A
HABITUAL SELF INJURER IS A PROGRESSIVE PROCESS |
|
|
The first incident of self-injury may occur
by accident, or after finding out about others who engage in this behavior |
The next time a similar strong feeling
arises, the person has been “conditioned” to seek relief in the same way |
|
|
|
Cutting or other self-injury provides a
sense of relief; a release of the mounting tension |
Endorphins, specifically enkephalins,
contribute to the 'addictive’ nature of self-injury |
|
|
How can a self-injuring person
stop this behavior?
Self-injury is a behavior that over
time becomes compulsive and addictive. Like any other addiction, even though
other people think the person should stop, most addicts have a hard time just
saying no to their behavior – even when they realize it is unhealthy.
|
What you can do to help yourself |
|
|
Acknowledge this
is a problem |
You
are probably hurting on the inside and need professional help to stop this
addictive behavior |
|
Realize this is
not about being a bad person |
This
is about recognizing that a behavior that helped you handle your feelings has
become a big problem |
|
Find one person
you trust and get professional help |
Maybe
a friend, teacher, rabbi, minister, counselor, or relative. Tell them you
need to talk about something serious that is bothering you |
|
Get help in
identifying what “triggers” your self-harming behaviors |
Ask
for help in developing ways to either avoid or address those triggers |
|
Recognize that
self-injury is an attempt to self-soothe |
Learn
how to develop better ways to calm and soothe yourself |
|
Figure out what
function the self-injury is serving |
Replace
the act of self-harm with learning how to express anger, sadness, and fear in
healthy ways |
Treatments for self-injury
One danger connected with self-injury
is that it tends to become an addictive behavior, a habit that is difficult to
break even when the individual wants to stop. As with other addictions,
qualified professional help is almost always necessary. It is important to find
a counselor who understands this behavior and is not upset or repulsed by it.