Resentment

     Codependents use resentment as a futile way to try to protect themselves and regain self-esteem. when people are victimized, they experience two things rather intensely: a drop in self-esteem, preciousness, or value, and a profound need to find some way to stop the victimization.

Anger gives people a sense of power and energy. In healthy amounts, anger provides the strength to do what is needed to protect oneself. But when we recycle the anger and combine it with an obsession about punishing the offender or getting revenge, we enter into resentment. Whether or not we actually carry out any real punishment or revenge, resentment includes the desire for it. Resentment debilitates the codependent because of the process of replaying the victimization in our minds which brings on painful emotions such as shame, unexpressed or poorly expressed anger, and depressive frustration.

Resentment plays a key part in the way codependents’ lives are hampered by blaming others for their own inability to protect themselves with healthy boundaries.